Saturday, April 21, 2007

"Let Me rearrange your circumstances"



This is my current oasis. My backyard is what I look out at every morning in my meditative times with God.

I'm in the midst of possible changes on all fronts. It feels like a wind whipping in various directions. Only all of this change is only in my head. I haven't moved, I've merely moved around a lot of possibilities of moving. I have put in for my transfer, but haven't filled out applications. I just dance around the ones I printed off the computer, indecision again rearing it's ugly head, paralysing me. And the doubts. Can I even handle a new job in my state? But, honestly, can I make it through another year of the insanity at my current job?
So I read this morning, out of Chuck Pierce's book, a word he got from the Lord. It jumped out at me, so I took it for mine. Thank you Jesus!
"Let me rearrange your circumstances. Look deep in every circumstance around you for they are setting a new order for your life. Let me remove the past. Do not strive to hear Me.( I especially like that part)Let your prayer life be one of asking in simple faith and I will answer you. I will release favor so you can build your future. Let me train your hands to prosper for building. Stake your claim on your future and expect Me to do wondrous things on your behalf this year. (I love that part!!)
So I prayed it, Then went about my day.
Went to see the house my dad wants to sell me. Got excited about putting French doors in the back to look out on my yard, like I do here. Began to be excited about planning the new kitchen, looked with dad at some vinyl paneling.
But right after I said yes, I heard news that made me say no. The other side being sold as a rental. the negative possibilities of what that would mean overwhelmed me. Stuff came up concerning rentals and the peace I have where I am. I had to back off, to tell Dad, no, if that was what would happen. I tried to do it graciously, but we both left bummed.
I worried about his being sad for much of the day

Then I went about the rest of my day. Got prayer, felt better, went to movies and dinner with my sweet big sister and friend, then came home. Felt terrible again. Got more prayer, went in and out, back in a different dimension of the wind storm.
Then sad. I finally wanted to live there. In the process of this day I think I went through the stages of grief. Denial- that wasn't gonna happen, bargaining- I could just rent it, anger, why did this wrench have to come in the works? and sorrow.
In the evening, I reread the morning's prophesy. OH, says I to myself. Is that what you're doing?
Do I need to keep praying this? What are you doing in this circumstance? Please come and rearrange them, set a new order for my life, help me wisely build my future.
How do I lay claim on my future?
There was more, good stuff I got. But it's now closing in on midnight, so maybe tomorrow.

Friday, April 06, 2007

A Holy Exchange

It (the service) started with my favorite cross song- the song which says so much. and it ended, for me with the holy exchange of which it speaks.
The words say it all (is that a play on words?!)
"I know a place, a wonderful place; where accused and condemned find mercy and grace.
Where the wrongs we have done, and the wrongs done to us; are nailed there with Him, there at the cross.
At the cross, at the cross; He died for our sins.
At the cross, at the cross; He gave us life again."
A holy exchange-if I wait, when I wait long enough at the cross: my sins for His forgiveness. My pain for His healing touch. My confusion for His peace. My grief for His comfort.
And, my death for His resurrection.
IN the end, when I wait and finish the Holy exchange, I walk away lighter, more fulfilled, and more in love with such a wonderful God- who would do such a thing as this for me.
For who else would, or could, bear my sorrows, carry my pain, forgive my sins- pay such a high price to redeem the ones He loves- Who else would die such a horrible death for me?
I KNOW a place- a wonderful place....