Did I ever tell you about the time? or: MY Very Way-cool Bro!

So my family and I are out camping at Ice House- this beautiful forested lake with no house in sight. My very way- cool bro, Joe is cooking up a storm for some 25 or so family members with his very way-cool special- built- for- him -barbecue. (He's the one in the very way- cool hat and chef's apron- no shirt of course. What do ya want, it's hot out!)

By the way, he's here talking to my little way-adorable granddaughter, Selah Paix. But I digress. ( Love that phrase, try to slip it in whenever I can. But I double-digress! HA!)

SO, we're all out visiting and having a good time, when BANG, down comes this BIG ole'pine
cone making a thud and raising a small cloud of dust! We jump, look around, see it, and go on visiting. Then WHOP- down comes another! People start looking up at the really tall tree above us. THUD! Down comes another. And another. And, you guessed it- another. As one lands near someone, at great velocity as it's coming from a very high place and is on the heavy side, family members start moving chairs and calling out warnings.

Pretty soon small children are being whisked away to safer places, like inside of vans. Now, at this point my memory of the sequence of events blurs, as I'm sure most people who've been in a siege of some sort experience. (take THAT for my best excuse yet, you memory-police.) But I remember people calling out from far corners of the campsite things like,

"It's a squirrel."

"Look, he's on the other side,"

"Watch out, he's on the far branch!"

"Another one's coming- dive for cover!"

We even had sentry posted on a high rock, although it was soon determined by said sentry's parents to not be a safe lookout after all!

And then it happened. (flash back to old Sea Hunt series-for those of you who are old enough. I remember the early stuff, memory-police)

And then we saw it! My baby sister, Marlene, was hit. The squirrely shot was fired and her cry was heard. On the back of the head, and being quite a large cone, thankfully not in a crucial spot. Enough of a graze, however to leave her dizzy and disoriented, bleeding and needing pieces of cone to be removed.

Folks came running to check on her, all gathering under the tarp serving as a patio cover- the one in the first photo with Brother Joe. All seeming to forget that Attack Squirrel was still gunning for the Fusano clan. I looked with concern at that canvas tarp and stepped back to see the whereabouts of our enemy's next target. Found the little varmint, (and he was a very little one) near the end of a branch, working on loosing another bomb- cone. Followed the branch down from said branch to the spot that it would land, and sure enough, it was over our little crowd under their canvas roof! A suicide bomber couldn't have planned it better!

"Everybody get out of there, it's gonna land where you're standing!" I yelled. To no avail. They seemed lured into the false security of that cover. But I overcame my usual quiet nature, and persisted until they did all clear. And to the relief of my reputation, but the unfortunate destruction of Joe and Jen's RV patio cover, down it came. Ripped through the cover, and thankfully, found no more victims.

Now you may think this great story ends here. But no. We're now to my favorite part!

While everyone stared in disbelief up at the brazen little fuzzy creature, another sharp, loud, echoing BANG sounded, causing all of us citified (is that a word? If not, can it be?) parts of the clan to jump! A very way-cool, protective and tough old younger brother- who shall not be now named, had pulled out his gun- yes gun- like the wild, wild west- and let 'er rip! It echoed through the chilly quiet of that beautiful forested mountain lake. "That squirrel ain't gonna hit my sister and get away with it!"

With that, another BANG! I looked over and there he was, bracing that pistol between his two hands, out and up toward that rascally varmint.

I think he would've kept going, if it weren't for all us squeamish city folk. Or maybe the little terrorist got away. I don't know, you'd have to ask him. Very way-cool brother, who cannot be named!

Enemy's camp.
Pile of missiles gathered after attack.