HOPE.
Hope is the concept I've been chewing on in this wierd season of grieving,
as another of my brothers passes and anniversaries of other loved ones' deaths
come around. And I hear and see other dear loved ones who, in their loss, suffer
without any hope. My heart breaks for them! It overshadows my own grief and
leaves me aching for their grief without comfort. How hard it is for me to
understand, when I have been able to meet Him in my worst grief.
And yet, I get it. I get the anger at God, the gnawing question- "How can a good God let this
evil happen?" I've yelled it, I've seethed in it, and I have struggled with a
God who is supposed to be all powerful and all good, but is not stopping the
unjustice, evil, or pain. I know the the theoligical reasons for still believing,
but those arguments rang empty in the face of such pain in my life.
How then?
How did I find hope in light of that? It was in the fights. It was in the
screaming and cussing and literally shaking my fist in God's face, then crying
in a heap on the floor, that a quiet, gentle, and incredibly loving voice broke
through, with nothing but compassion, understanding, and the words that let me
know that I was loved. He got it, and cared, and He that was with me. And
suddenly, I had peace. And hope. Then I knew that I was so loved by this
all powerful and all good God. I knew that I was not going to be shielded from
the suffering, but that He would walk with me through it. And it was gonna be
okay. Peace that defies understanding, but rings more true in the knowing than
any fact.
The God that I know, the Love I've discovered, beckons us all. This Lover,
who took up His cross and walked the path of suffering, who came and
identified with us in all of our human suffering, this is the One who is waiting
for you, for anyone who wants to have it out with Him.
A wise Special Education professor I had at CSUN once said that suffering will
make you bitter or better. The choice is each of ours.. I encourace you to take your pain to
Him. And watch and wait. Because as surely as there is death, there is
resurrection. As surely as Good Friday came, and Jesuse was tortured to death,
Sunday is coming and He will bring resurrection life.
Come to Me,all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Jesus
But God showed us His love in that, while we were still living apart from Him, Christ died for us.
Rom.5:8
This hope does not disappoint us, for God has poured out
his love into our hearts .Romans 5:5
