Mom would want us to pray and not fight

When my husband died, I prayed I would become a better, kinder person. And it seemed all hell broke loose.

It seems that certain people you lose rip your hearts out. It feels like Mom was our heart.

But Mom's heart, her desire for us to love, really does beat inside of us. Her upbringing formed us, and I can "hear" what she would say about things.

We've been reeling as a family. It seems as if all hell is breaking loose. so now we can see where we need to work. The gunk is brought up to clean it out.

The family priest and a dear friend of ours, asked me what my mom would want us to know about her. After much thought, I wrote this:

What Mom would want us to know about her. A very hard question, as she was so unassuming. It would be easier to list what mom wouldn't want made a big deal out of, but was: like the fact that she always smiled with such a loving look that everyone, from babies to old people, knew that she loved them. Or that she was always so busy looking out for other people's needs and trying to keep peace that she'd forget about herself. That she was a great card shark with an amazing memory, knowing how many of which kind of card was already played, and who drew or put down the last one.Or that she was a gracious loser but a terrible winner, as she'd laugh with glee over it.

That she was one of the most giving, forgiving, and life loving ladies I've ever known. That she was an excellent hostess and could make great spaghetti sauce as well as much more.

That she had a powerful childlike faith in a God who is Love, and out of that flowed a love and respect for others. I once asked Dad and her if they thought that God respected them. Someone had told me that, and I'd found it very hard to believe. Dad had the same look on his face that I had. But Mom spoke right out, “Of course He does!” Mom knew God in that way!

In terms of what I felt she'd want us to know, not about her, but it is what she lived, came to me the other morning as I was reading from 1 John,3:16 “In this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.” She would want us to know that.

And v. 18, that we don't just love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. She would want us to know that her love for us wasn't just words, but actions and what she said was truth.

She would want us to know that she would help others willingly, cheerfully where she could, and that she lived a good life, and knew how to enjoy it. (Although she did fight with guilt over all kinds of things, usually stemming from her feeling like she could do more...)

She had a French saying she used quite often, “Se la vie.”

She enjoyed laughing, loving and eating. No wonder she did so well in an Italian family!

And when she got fed up, which she did, especially when her husband, John got into a teasing mode, she was know to throw an entire glass of water in his face. To which he would laugh, but also quit the teasing!

She would want us all to honor God, telling young newlywed women at showers, to pray, and to forgive.

She would want us to know that she always tried to not offend, and if she thought she did, or was told that she did, she did what she could to make it right.

She would want us to stop fighting, but remember, to keep in mind when others are crabby the pain that they're in and not take it to heart.

She used to remind me, when dealing with a person, or problem, of this slogan, “What's the problem, whose problem is it, and what can I do about it?”

Also, “Let go and Let God.” and for years, she would say, when dealing with a difficult situation, “PTLA.” which stood for "Praise the Lord, Anyway".

1 John 3:23 "And this is His commandment, that we should believe on the name of His son, Jesus Christ and love one another as He gave us command."

Mom would want us to know that she loved us and that she wants us to love each other.