I've been watching this dove that's been camped out in front of my house for a couple of months. It seems to have been since I had the big tree out there cut down. It's been perched on the phone wire nearest to where the tree had been. Looking. Just looking at the spot where the tree had been. I don't know, maybe imagining the good times, the cover, the protection it had provided. And since I've heard that doves stay with their mates, maybe even for life, I wondered if it had lost it's mate. I wondered if it was male or female. It just sat there. Like it never wanted to leave. Like, as if it stayed near the place where it's mate had been, it would still be near him.
It was sort of sad when I thought of it like that. And it made me feel a bit guilty when I first thought of it. But then I got annoyed. It's gone already, find another tree! Or another mate. Maybe another life! ( I really don't think I thought all that about the bird- I'm just taking a little poetic license.)
Then I saw how reticent I was to pack up a cabinet. To empty a drawer. I've been waiting.
Not wanting to leave, just sitting here!
It's time for me to find another tree.
The realization of my own reluctance to move has helped me to see why I've not been able to get more excited about the gift of the new house I have!
My kids came a were so good to pack up 2 rooms now, and my attitude has been, at times, painfully indecisive about the dumbest things. Like where to put books in the new house. I really appreciate Josh and Sarah's patience with me.
And I'm making an effort now to spread those wings and get on board.
My spring theme seems to be to rise up and soar.
By the grace of God.
4 comments:
I can totally relate cuz! I have to move form the home I raised my kids in for the past 18 years. But it's time to move on, start a new chapter with my new bride. I want her to feel special and not live in someone elses shadow. I'm also changing churches for the first time. Same reasons. New start. Fresh beginnings. It's kinda scary, kinda sad, but exciting too! And after I have started this process and come to terms with it it's starting to feel right. I picture Moses on the edge of the Red Sea. He had to get into that water first. Those first steps seem to be the hardest. I will pray for you, and you can pray for me. Love ya! Little Vanda
i like this post a lot...that poor dove...at least your first home inside being torn down!
just kidding. i know that there are a lot of memories, but the house is just a thing, and the good parts will move with you, and hopefully some of the bad will fly away, too.
Wow- great insights, Fam!
I'm encouraged by your thoughts!
Thanks!
Change is hard for me and I am sentimental and so that makes it even harder. I applaud you and the move you are taking. May the Lord surprise you with joy in your new nest in your new tree!!!
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